Dazed Frankie Avalon spotted wandering near Historic District

Last Wednesday, some lucky Crystal “Cool” visitors made an interesting discovery near the tidepools of Crystal “Cool” State Park.  Hidden amongst treasures like sea stars and sea anemones, beachgoers noticed a shadowy image reflecting in the waters. Suddenly, they heard the faint melody of “Beauty School Drop-Out” and from the murky, rocky water arose a shirtless Frankie Avalon, noted singer and actor of popular 1960s beach comedies.  

Avalon was rumored to be searching for Annette Funicello, but he reportedly had become disoriented during the time travel process and ended up at Crystal “Cool” instead. Per the State Park’s tidepool rules and regulations, visitors did not touch Avalon, who was within seconds of bursting into his popular song, “Venus.”  

A State Park peace officer was summoned to investigate the sighting and apprehend Avalon for observation. A sea of teeny-boppers followed the time-traveling actor as he was escorted from the beach.

“Time travelers have been known to make Crystal ‘Cool’ a stop on their way through the interdimensional highway of the space-time continuum,” a State Park peace officer said in a press release later that week. “As long as park rules are observed and day-use fees are paid, we have no objection to it. Bad 60s beach songs, however, are strictly prohibited at all times and are subject to citation.”

To avoid facing the same fate as Avalon, Crystal “Cool” State Park encourages all future time travelers to remember to “Think before you sing.”


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